This book covers the
following principles in depth:
1. Know who you are and what you want.
Like an iceberg, we are typically aware only of the tip, while our success and happiness depends upon what lies below the surface.
2. Learn how to get what you want.
Assess the information, tools, and skills you will need and acquire them. Develop creative strategies and action plans. “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
3. Be the “Chooser.”
Take initiative and responsibility for your outcomes. Don’t react to what, or who, chooses you. Seek to create what you want in your life.
4. Balance your heart with your head.
Make your relationship choices consciously. It’s still exciting!
5. Be ready and available for commitment.
Live your life and bring your dating strategy into alignment with how ready you really are for a committed relationship.
6. Use the “Law Of Attraction.”
Be the partner that you are seeking. Attract the partner that you want by developing yourself and living the life that you want. “If you build it, they will come.”
7. Gain relationship knowledge and skills.
Prepare for the love of your life by learning about relationships, improving your relationship skills, and deepening your relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues. Date for fun and practice. Take more emotional risks. Read about relationships. Get relationship coaching. Take relationship classes and workshops.
8. Create a support community.
Isolated singles become lonely in their relationships when they focus on a partner to meet all their social and emotional needs.
9. Practice assertiveness.
To get what you really want, you need to say “No” to what you don’t want.
10. Be a “Successful Single.”
Don’t put your life on hold waiting
for a relationship to happen. Live your life
vision and purpose while you are single. The
best way to find your life partner is to be
a happy, successful single person living the
life that you really want.
principles will help you avoid The
14 Dating Traps:
1. Marketing Trap
Trying to attract a partner by making yourself
more appealing, believing you have to sell yourself
because nobody would want you as you really
2. Packaging Trap
The opposite of the Marketing Trap. Instead
of seeking to sell yourself with attractive
packaging, you focus on the packaging of others,
such as age, body type, weight, income, etc.
3. Scarcity Trap
Believing there is a limited supply of possible
partners so you have to take what you can get
or be alone.
4. Compatibility Trap
Believing that if you’re having fun
with someone and getting along well, then you’re
compatible and a committed relationship will
5. Fairytale Trap
This is passively expecting your ideal partner
to magically appear so that you can live happily
ever after without effort on your part. Believing
that finding your soul mate will just "happen."
6. Date-to-Mate Trap
Becoming an instant couple with everybody you
date, as if you're giving the relationship a
test drive. Assuming that by becoming a couple
and trying out the relationship that a successful
committed relationship will happen.
7. Attraction Trap
Making your choices based solely on feelings
of attraction. You interpret a strong attraction
to someone as a sign that this relationship
is a good choice and is meant to be.
8. Love Trap
Interpreting infatuation, attraction, need,
good sex, or emotional attachment as love.
9. Sex Trap
Prioritizing physical intimacy and regarding
everything else as optional. Your main criterion
for a relationship is sexual attraction and
physical compatibility. You become a couple
as soon as you have sex.
10. Rescue Trap
Hoping that a relationship will solve your
emotional and financial problems and bring you
happiness and fulfillment; like winning the
11. Co-dependent Trap
You expect someone will love you and give you
what you want by giving the other person what
they want. You try to earn love and happiness
by acquiescing, nurturing, giving, and helping.
Needing to be needed often results in unconsciously
attracting and choosing a relationship with
a person who needs you but is unable to give
you what you want. You really want to be in
a relationship. You feel unworthy as you are,
and that you need to earn love. You pursue relationships
because you feel incomplete when you're not
12. Entitlement Trap
Believing you deserve to be happy and to get
what you want in your life without effort or
changes on your part, because you're entitled.
Your attitude toward your partner is “What
can you do for me?” “Make me feel
good.” “Make me happy.”
13. Virtual Reality Trap
Believe that “what you see is what you
get” and seeing what you want to see instead
of using actual experience and knowledge to
make long-term relationship choices.
14. Lone Ranger Trap
You are focused on your goal of finding your
life partner and believe that the other relationships
in your life are less important and that you
don’t need anyone’s help. You evaluate
the people you meet for their relationship potential
and don’t take the opportunity to cultivate
new friends. Then, you feel isolated and believe
that there's a scarcity of potential partner